


Nexus Fading

by FalconStrike



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, Angst, Chronic Illness, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Family, Friendship, Hacking, Intrigue, Secrets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-08 07:32:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14100468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FalconStrike/pseuds/FalconStrike
Summary: Rikka came to Andromeda under false pretenses and carrying secrets that could put both herself and Nexus Security at risk. The last place she expected to find herself when she arrived was on Kadara, much less under the circumstances that brought her there. Nor did she expect to end up as far in over her head as she did.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [usuallyblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/usuallyblue/gifts).



> A huge Thank You to Usuallyblue for being my beta reader, editor, and log writer! You've extremely patient, helpful, and supportive, thank you! Without you, Nexus Fading would never have made it this far!

“Kadara, the despot land of sulfur pits, mountains, and villainy, or so the Nexus would have you believe. At this point, I’m inclined to agree with them.” Rikka snorted. 

Rikka, a short albeit sturdily built woman, crouched on one of the platforms above the fortified gate that led from the Kadara Port Slums to the inhospitable lands beyond. She brushed her short auburn hair out of her face and eyed the mountains, like jagged teeth of a beast, that were bathed in red light from the dying sun. Her hazel-green eyes tracked the black specks of vehicles silhouetted against the rock as they sped down the steep slopes to an unknown destination.

“Don't let Sloane Kelly's men hear you staying that,” the dual toned voice of a Turian thrummed in a chuckled warning.

“I wouldn't dream of it.” Rikka said dryly, not turning to look at Trian Narso. 

“You're not planning on going out there, are you?”

“No, not alone.” Rikka shook her head and stepped closer to the edge of the platform, her boots echoed loudly off the metal in the gathering darkness. “Would you be up for an adventure?” She asked, turning to look at him. 

She held Trian’s gaze despite his formidable appearance. His right mandible had been partially blasted off some years before in a battle, leaving the rest of the plate warped and twisted. She'd seen other Turians flinch away from the gruesome injury repeatedly, but found it didn't bother her overly much. He carried other marks from his encounter with the Geth in a permanent limp and gouges in other plates. 

He flared his mandibles in a grin, amber eyes glinting. “Why not? Iris and Lea should be off shift at the Tartarus Bar soon.”

“How those two can work there, I'll never know,” Rikka muttered. Sel’iris T'goala and Ishyxalea V’nadri were two Asari dancers there.

Rikka winced as she turned back again to look over the valley. She didn’t flinch when Trian’s hand touched her shoulder. 

“Levels?” He asked, sub-vocals carrying an undercurrent of concern.

“Four,” Rikka answer, grimacing slightly and shrugging off his hand. “Don’t worry about it. It’s not going to get in the way of tonight.” 

“Talk to us if it gets worse.” He didn’t protest at her dismissal, instead she heard the scrap of his boots as he began to walk away. “I’ll fetch Iris and Lea.”

“Thanks,” Rikka murmured to his retreating back. 

It was almost completely dark by the time Trian returned with Iris and Lea. The sky was blue-black and dotted with stars, the valley was dark as pitch. Rikka typed rapidly into her omni-tool, without looking up to see her companions join her. 

“So, Iris, Lea, we’ve got work to do,” only now did she glance at the two Asari. Sel’iris T’goala was the taller of the two with a narrower face and faint white marking across her cheeks and brow, unsurprisingly she was the elder. Ishyxalea V’nadri was the younger of the two and was slightly shorter, but she made up for it with lean, powerful muscles. Both Iris and Lea used biotics, but Lea was the heavy hitter, using hers in close-quarters combat while Iris distanced herself in battle. 

“Where are we off to tonight?” Iris asked, slipping as quietly as water up to Rikka’s side. 

“You’ve been awfully vigilant today,” Trian added, dual toned voice rippling in the air. “You’re planning something.”

“I am,” Rikka smirked slightly. “First things first,” she turned her full attention to the other three. “We’re getting down there--” she nodded to the other side of the gate. “Anyone care for jumping? They’ll be monitoring everyone coming and going, especially now that the Pathfinder’s shown her face. We don’t want word getting back to Sloane, so.” 

“So we jump,” Iris sighed, resigned. 

“Now,” Rikka nodded in the direction of a narrow corner in the natural cave wall below the metal boardwalk above the gate. The other three followed her as she began to walk. “We’ve only got a few minutes before those damned lights come on, so we’ve got to hurry.”

The lights Rikka was referring to were not unlike spotlights that lit up the slums, or, more specifically, the gated wall. They were on a timer and the slum’s lights--being that they were in just that: the slums--came on a few short minutes after the generators lit Kadara Port for the night. Coming and going had to be conducted in the darkened minutes between sunset and twilight and dawn and sunrise, if you weren’t going to leave through the gate like a model citizen. 

One by one they leaped over the railing and slid haphazardly down the conjoining cave wall.

“Love the armor, but hate the noise,” Rikka muttered under her breath as she stumbled on her landing. With the general thrum and rumble of the pipes, generators, and activity of Kadara Port’s slums the sound was almost swallowed up, but it didn’t stop them from freezing and crouching low just after landing. 

“Formation,” Rikka hissed, pulling on her helmet and speaking into their coms. “Taking flight leader. Trian, flight wingman; Lea, element leader; Iris, element wingman.” 

“Copy,” Iris answered promptly. 

“Copy that,” Trian echoed.

“Interesting that we use human flight formation for a ground based operation,” Lea laughed. 

“Shut up. It’s a solid formation and it works. Now, take up position.” Rikka snapped.

“Ugh, fine, copy.” Lea grouched.

“Tight formation, everyone.” Rikka took point with Trian behind her on the left, Lea echoed his position, but on Rikka’s right. Iris dropped behind and to the right of Lea. “We need to move quickly.” 

“Coms closed?” Iris asked, her voice slightly distorted by said coms. 

“Yes, to everyone but us.”

“Good. Where are we going?” It was things like this, keeping them focused, that caused Iris to be Rikka’s right hand even if Trian was closest to her. 

“We’re heading for the stash. We’re picking up the Nomad and we’re going to find out where those cars were going today. There was an awful lot of activity and I’ve gotten no updates from the Nexus about settlement, so it’s either the Roekaar or the Charlatan’s men are going to be making a move against Sloane. Or it’s the Kett.”

“In other words: not good, regardless of who it is.” Iris said darkly.

After that there was little talk as they quickly broke away from the road and headed to the cliffs a good mile away from the fortified gate that lead to Kadara Port. Darkness and uneven ground hindered their speed, but it was routine at this point. When they reached the narrow gulch, effectively hidden from the road, they broke formation to slip one-by-one between the steep boulders. The shrouding boulders gave way to a passage and cave mouth. 

“And here we are,” Lea said unnecessarily. 

Spanning the cave mouth was a glowing, seething orange forcefield, fuelled by implants in the rock wall. Here the four of them could stand comfortably without being cramped together. Rikka stepped as close to the forcefield as she dared and activated her omni-tool, typing rapidly. 

“And. Three… Two… One…” She breathed. “Now.” The forcefield fell, leaving the opening to the cave. 

Trian, Iris, and Lea darted past her with practiced speed. Rikka followed them and stood back while the forcefield reignited behind them. It was only open for a few second, as she’d designed. 

 

The cavern wasn’t large. It contained their Nomad, weapons that would be confiscated by the Kadara Port “Guards”--Sloane’s lackeys--and a computer terminal, as well as enough provisions to last them a good few days if they became trapped or extraction was delayed. 

“Alright,” Rikka began, joining Train, Iris, and Lea is a ragged circle. “Now that it’s safe to talk properly, I’ve observed a lot of activity on the mountains across from Kadara Port these past couple of days. However, without the scope of a sniper rifle, I haven’t been able to identify any of the vehicles. We’re going to investigate where the vehicles have been, find out where their going, and who owns them. Then, we’ll set up a track on whoever’s running this activity. I don’t like it one bit. If it’s related to Sloane or the Charlatan, we need to get our eyes and ears circulating the Port. If it’s the Roekaar, we reach out to either the Pathfinder or Vidal.”

“And if it’s the Kett?” Trian asked. His sub-vocals rang over the coms, his hatred was almost palpable. 

“Then we definitely contact the Pathfinder.” Rikka looked warningly around the group. “We’re not well enough equipped to take them on and the Nexus couldn’t give damn about the Exiles beyond monitoring them as a potential threat, so the Pathfinder will have to be the one to step up and protect the people here. Maybe in doing so she’ll create a rapport with the people here.”

“I doubt it.” Trian snarled. 

“I’m prepared to agree with you, but we’ve got a job to do. Remain vigilant and keep yours eyes open, copy?” 

“Copy,” Trian growled. 

“Of course,” Iris nodded smoothly.

“Roger,” Lea said, for once voice was without any laughter or mockery. 

“Good. And, Trian, calm down. I need you focused tonight.” With that, Rikka turned to gather her weapons, not waiting for him to respond. She selected an assault rifle fitted with a scope and a sniper rifle. She weighed them briefly before slinging them across her back and strapping a simple pistol to her thigh. 

“Who would have thought you’d be a sniper?” Lea chortled, testing her omni-blade on thin air. 

“Hmph,” Rikka snorted. “I’ve spent years looking through a telescope and I’ve found I’d rather not be in the thick of combat. Too much going on and too much risk of death and disembowelment.” 

“If we find resistance, do you think you’ll be able to hack through their shields or siphon information from their omni-tools?” Trian asked darkly, cooling his anger long enough to join the conversation. 

“Yes,” Rikka answered simply. “It’ll be no different than any other time. Ready?” She asked, facing her comrades. 

“As we’re likely to be,” Iris answered. 

“Who’s driving?” Lea asked, smirking as she leaned against the side of the Nomad. “I vote for not me.”

“Rikka, you know where we’re going,” Iris pointed out. A frown crossed her features as she regarded Rikka. 

“Alright. Everyone saddle up,” Rikka nodded. “I give no guarantees for a smooth ride.” 

“Dibs on the back! The shocks are better back there!” Lea called.

“I hate to admit that she’s right,” Iris said with an embarrassed smiled at Rikka. “Sorry, but I’m joining her in the back.”

“Guess you’re up front with me,” Rikka mused, throwing Trian a look. 

The four of them climbed in and settled before Rikka typed into her omni-tool with one eye on the forcefield in front of them rather than the one behind them. The instant it vanished, Rikka floored the gas and the Nomad launched forward. Iris shieked involuntarily and Lea whooped with laughter as the car ricochet off the rocks, flying through the forcefield. It came to life again behind them. As they slammed into a boulder on the way through the cave passage, Rikka hissed and double over. 

“You okay?” Trian asked sharply, leaning forward to fix her with his fierce amber gaze.

“Fine. I’m fine,” Rikka muttered, pushing herself back to sit up straight. “Don’t worry about it.”

The Nomad raced down the steep mountainside, hurtling off escarpments. 

“Rikka!” Iris shrieked. 

Rikka threw a glance over her shoulder and grinned to herself. Iris was flattened against the back of the seat while Lea threw her arms into the air and howled with laughter each time they became airborne. They crashed into the bottom of the valley and she spun the steering wheel to the left, fishtailing the Nomad. 

“By the Goddess, Rikka, be careful!” Iris cried, clinging to the seat with white knuckled hands. 

“We’re wasting time.” Rikka grated, the smirk dropping off her face. “We need to double back to where the vehicles were coming from. If we had the option, I would suggest that we split into two groups, one going to where they came from and the other to find out where they were headed, but we don’t have that choice. We’re going to back track to see if we can find where they came from, then we’ll follow their tracks find where they’re going. Plan is not to get too close, but enough that we can ID them and do some long distance tracking. Depending on how far they travelled, we might not get back to the Port before dawn.”

“We’ll be sleeping in the car?” Lea grimaced, settling down and crossing her arms now that they weren’t flying off cliffs. 

“Es ist ein possibilité,” Rikka answered.

There was silence for a long while before Rikka warned, “I’m killing the headlights.”

“You sure about this?” Trian asked warily. 

“We only need enough to see a few feet ahead of the car and we can’t risk anyone from the Port seeing us. We far enough away that limited light shouldn’t be too dangerous, but we can’t risk anything else.” Rikka shook her head. She hunched her shoulders and narrowed her eyes, brow furrowing, as she dimmed the headlights. In the darkness of the interior of the Nomad, only the lights on the dashboard illuminated her face. 

“Engaging six-wheel drive,” she told them moments later. 

The Nomad slowed down even further as the wheels gripped the bare rock. She steered it off the narrow “road” at the bottom of the valley, up the steep rise. In the distance behind them, Kadara Port shone in the darkness, more than halfway up the mountainside. Everyone fell silent as they slowly climbed higher and higher. Out of the darkness boulders and crags loomed with little warning. Near the summit, Rikka cut the engine, parking at a precarious angle. 

“Alright, we’re getting out and looking around to see if we can find any tracks. I know this isn’t ideal in the dark, but we don’t have much of a choice. There was enough traffic that we should be able to find something. Keep your coms open so we can talk to each other. Don’t go more than thirty meters away. If anything happens there’s no way we’ll be able to find each other if someone falls to their death or gets hurt. Got it?” Rikka asked sharply.

“Isn’t thirty meters too far with this kind of terrain and visibility? You’re asking a lot, Rikka,” Iris cautioned.

“We’ve done this kind of thing before. I highly doubt anything will happen, but stay alert. In this darkness and with the terrain, if something does happen, such as an attack, it’ll be easy enough to hide. We can use it to our advantage rather than our disadvantage,” she countered. 

“Just be careful,” Iris warned as they climbed out of the Nomad. “Check in frequently and remember to check your distance and direction.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Lea said, her eye-roll audible as she plunged into the darkness. 

“I’ll check in every five meters or so,” Trian promised as he walked in the opposite direction Lea. 

“Rikka, are you alright?” Iris asked, catching her arm before she could select her own direction to investigate. 

“I’m fine,” Rikka answered, shrugging off Sel’iris’s hand. “It’s just a minor bump from my abysmal driving. It’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? It hit all of us pretty hard.” Iris pressed.

“I said I’m fine,” Rikka stopped herself from snapping and let out a breath through gritted teeth.

Iris hesitated a moment, inclined her head and said calmly, “Alright.”

“Overbearing Matriarch,” Rikka muttered as she spun away and stalked into the darkness. She activated her omni-tool’s scanner. Unlike standard issue omni-tools and scanners, it was nearly Pathfinder grade. The beam scanned the ground as she walk. The orange glow mixed with the beam from her armor’s light, illuminated a few feet in front of her. Even in the darkness, it wasn’t difficult to find the ruts and tire tracks that scored the ground. What little grass pushed through the rock was flattened and brown. 

“I’ve found some,” Rikka reported across the coms.

“As have I,” Trian said. 

“I’ve one better,” Lea chirped. “I’ve found something that look like it was thrown from one of the cars in a crash.”

“What?” Rikka gasped. “Where are you? No--don’t go back to the Nomad! We need to scour the area to see if there’s anything else.” 

“Over here,” Lea flared the light on her armor and stood facing the Nomad. She was a good twenty meters away. 

Rikka past the Nomad, heedless of the rough terrain and the unseen hazards. She raced to where Lea stood, panting hard. She coughed, forcing herself to even out her breathing, “What did you find?” 

“Wreckage, but I think it’s an audio log,” Lea said, her tone light despite the potential value of her find. 

Iris and Trian appeared out of the darkness like wraiths. 

“Did you say it’s an audio log?” Trian asked. His sub-vocals deepened and vibrated with an unseen frown. 

“Yeah, I think so, but it’s encoded so far as I can tell.” Lea nodded enthusiastically. 

“Give it here and I’ll take a look at it,” Rikka said, holding her hand out expectantly. Lea handed it over, almost chucking it. “Careful,” Rikka said sharply. “Now, keep looking and I’ll get this baby opened.”

“Aye, aye!” Lea saluted and all but skipped off into the darkness. 

“Where does she get that kind of energy?” Iris asked, crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her head.

Trian chuckled as he walked away, “She hasn’t had kids yet.” 

“Children,” Rikka could practically hear the exasperation in Iris’ voice. 

Rikka ignored them and sat down on one of the nearby boulders. Her fingers flicked across the data pad and her omni-tool. She muttered under her breath, gaze darting between the two items. “Come on, baby, what are you hiding?” 

Carefully she typed away until she let out a soft laugh. “Success. Alright, let’s find out what secrets you hold for being that encrypted,” Rikka murmured to the data pad, over the coms she said, “Got it. Is there anything else worthwhile?”

“Not that we’ve found,” Trian answered. “Let’s get back to the Nomad and see what we’ve got.” 

“Agree,” Rikka nodded even though no one could see her. 

She rose and wove her way between the boulders back to the Nomad more slowly than she’d run to Lea. She wheezed as she walked, hand gripping the data pad to her chest. Trian, Lea, and Iris were already waiting at the Nomad.

“Trian, you’re driving,” Rikka said by way of greeting. “We’re going to listen to this little gem and find out what’s going on, if we can. If it doesn’t tell us anything useful, I can still use it to trace the owner.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Trian thrummed. “Ladies first.” He mock bowed the women into the Nomad, climbing in after they’d settled, spirits seeming higher with their find. 

“At least he drives more smoothly than you, Rik,” Lea laughed. 

“Shut up,” Rikka muttered, bracing a foot against the dashboard and balancing the data pad in her lap. “What I lack in driving ability I make up for in navigation. Now, let’s find out what’s going on.”

 

> [Log: Translated from Shelesh]
> 
> I have my orders from Akksul, and if we are successful, the Angara will finally have a footing in this desolate wasteland. If we have a permanent base of operations our battles against the Kett will no longer be to our disadvantage. No longer will we be constantly on the move, fighting each day for our lives and with little to show for it. The port belonged to the Angara in the first place, so it in within our rights to take back.
> 
> It matters little of what becomes of these ‘exiles’ who have taken over and their so called ‘leader’. Some of our own may be there, that is true, but if they were willing to join them, they are little better than the scum they surround themselves with. They will be removed by whatever means necessary. Either they will heed our warnings and leave, or we will not hesitate to use force against them. 
> 
> [End of log]

“Scheisse! The Roekaar,” Rikka snarled. “They're going to attack the Port!”

“Rikka, we don't know that.” Iris said from the back seat, holding up her hands in an attempt to delay Rikka's reaction. “Don't jump to conclusions and please don't swear.”

“Yes, we do. I'm not jumping to conclusions, it's right here.” Rikka snapped, whipping around in her seat to face Iris. “The Roekaar have orders from Akksul to retake the Port. All this activity has to be in preparation. They're even willing to kill their own who are living there. We have to do something.”

“Like what? There are only four us and hundreds of them.” Iris pointed out.

“I'd say we don't change our plans at all,” Trian cut in before Rikka could respond. “We came out here to find out what's going on and track their movements. So we will still talk them, find their point of operation, and contact the Pathfinder. Just like our original plan. Nothing changes. Sel’iris, we can't waste time idly watching them. Rikka, we can't just jump in without a plan.”

“I wasn't going to suggest that we twiddle our thumbs,” Iris huffed, looking affronted.

“And I wasn't going to say we rush in,” Rikka said in a low, warning voice. “We scout this out and then alert the proper people.” She flipped over to a private comm channel shared with Trian, her voice tight, “I can't believe you'd say something like that in front of the others when you know full well that I would plan something this critical out.”

“Your track record isn't the best when you get overly emotional and you’re getting angry,” Trian answered cooly without looking at her. Over the open comm he continued, “Rikka, pin down their location and we'll get moving.” 

Rikka didn't answer, but synced up the data pad to her omni-tool and began typing rapidly. 

“Got it. Sending you the nav-point.” 

As Trian began driving, Lea piped up from the backseat, “Aw, you got them to stop bickering. You're like the dad of the group! Ow--!” She cried in pain as the data pad connected with her head.

“Shut up, you,” Rikka muttered. “We’ve got work to do. We can’t waste anymore time.”

This sobered the group up, dropping them into silence as they sped through the darkness toward the nav-point.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rikka and her conrades set their plan in motion, but it doesn't go as smoothly as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a huge thanks to Usuallyblue for helping me edit! And a thank you to the people who reviewed last chapter!

“The Roekaar would be fools not to have eyes on this route, especially at night,” Rikka said darkly. She sat hunched in the passenger seat with her foot braced against the dashboard, staring into the darkness. They’d been driving for well over an hour, following the tracks on a long winding course that circled the mountain where Kadara Port sat. “We really should go off road and find an alternate route to the nav-point.”

“I’d be inclined to agree with you,” Trian thrummed, sub-vocals flagging, “but we need to be able to pass on as much information to the Pathfinder as we can. If we can record the route, it’ll save a lot of time. Have you been calibrating the map?” Rikka couldn’t see his face, but she knew he’d glanced at her. 

“Of course,” she snorted. “The Nomad is linked with the map, so it’s been filling the route in automatically.”

“And you made sure that it’s recording just the route, not our meandering before that?” He pressed.

“Trian, I’m not an idiot,” Rikka snapped. “Even if someone hacked my omni-tool--not that they could--I set it to just record this route when you started driving. No one will find the Stash based on our omni-tools’ information.”

“Good, we just can’t afford to be lax in our precautions.” 

“Speaking of precautions,” Iris cut them off, leaning forward between them, “Look up there. Road markers. We must be getting close.” She pointed to faint red lights that seemed to materialize out of the gloom on either side road. “Aren’t those like the markers--”

“On Voeld,” Rikka interrupted as she up straighter. “Yeah, the Pathfinder’s report said they were to help find the road in the snowstorms. It wouldn’t be farfetched for the Roekaar to use them to find the road in the dark.” Turning to Trian she ordered, “Pull off the road and kill the lights entirely.”

“We can’t drive without light,” Trian pointed out sharply. “Not on this terrain, maybe on somewhere like Eos where it’s flat, but not here.” 

“There are most certainly going to be guards on this road,” Rikka argued. “They’ll see the our headlights--the only lights--in this damned darkness. If we’re going to keep scouting, we can’t risk it.”

“And if we want to avoid getting ourselves killed by driving off cliff, we need to be able to see.” 

“You know,” Iris said, forestalling the argument between Trian and Rikka. “Once we’ve contacted the Pathfinder they can scout this area, that’s one of their jobs.” 

Rikka twisted around to focus her ire on Iris. “We need to know what we’re up against. We need to reach the facility.” 

“You’re assuming there is a facility.” Vexation rose in Iris’ voice. “Just because one audio log mentioned Akksul doesn’t mean it’s as dire as you’re making it out to be.”

“You’re underestimating the Roekaar. We all know how they almost killed the Natanus survivors on Havarl.”

“The survivors were barely equipped, it’s not like they had a chance before Ryder got there.” 

“They had a chance. Pathfinder Rix--a former Spectre, need I remind you--was with them!” Rikka’s hand gripped her thigh, fingers digging into the harsh metal of her armor. 

“Enough, both of you!” Trian whipped around to glare. “This is about the Roekaar here on Kadara, not on Havarl!”

Iris froze and Rikka swore. The Natanus. The Turian survivors. “Scheisse. Trian, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking--”

Trian said nothing, but his taloned hands gripped the steering wheel. 

“Here’s an idea,” Lea said from the backseat. “Why don’t we hunker down for the night, get a couple hours of sleep, and hack into the system of someone driving past tomorrow?” 

Rikka slammed the heel of her hand into her forehead and fell back in her seat. “Lea, you’re a verrücktes genius.”

“We’re all tired and we need the rest,” Iris reasoned, sitting back beside Lea. “Let’s find a safe place to park and get some sleep.”

Trian still didn’t answer, but he turned the Nomad from the road and drove until they reached a shallow cave that was little more than an overhang of rock. The Nomad barely fit underneath, but craigy rocks shielded one of its sides. 

“Let’s hope it’s enough,” Trian muttered. He leaned back his seat and crossed his arms while Iris and Lea sprawled the back, Lea jabbing Iris several times until they settled down. Meanwhile Rikka curled up on her side, her back facing Trian. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Rikka asked over their private comm channel. She stared out the window into the darkness, knowing she wouldn’t be able to sleep in her armor, but not daring to take the risk of removing it. 

“Talk about what?” Trian asked rough.

“The Natanus,” she sighed. 

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Trian growled. 

“You’re sounding like me,” Rikka ventured. “Being here, on Kadara, hasn’t been good for any of us, but especially you, I think.”

“Don’t start, Rikka,” he warned.

“Trian, listen to me,” Rikka rolled over to face him. She tucked her hands under her head, helmet digging into them. “This place has been wearing us down.”

“I miss Delta,” he said after a moment of silence. His sub-harmonics trilled wistfully. “I miss our children. I just want to get back to them. None of this shit was ever part of the plan. We were going to come to Andromeda, find a home, raise our family. None of this was supposed to happen.” 

“I know. Believe me, I know.” Rikka sighed again. 

“I’m so worried about Vek. There’s been absolutely no word, but my gut tells me she’s still alive. My precious little girl.” Rikka could hear the nearly overwhelming grief in his voice. 

She pushed herself up on her elbow and reached over to him, clasping his shoulder, mindful of his carapace. “I swear to you, we’ll find her. Just because the Natanus was--” she shook her head fiercely, refusing to give voice to what they were both thinking “--survivors have since been found. Pathfinder Rix is confident that there are other survivors. Listen to your gut, know that the other two are safe, and we’ll find her. I swear.”

“Thank you, Rikka,” Trian breathed. He covered her hand with his own and squeezed. Whether or not he believed her words, Rikka didn’t know, but she would try her damnedest to fulfill her promise. 

Rikka tucked her hands back under her head. Her eyelids felt heavy and sleep tugged at the edges of her mind just when Trian’s omni-tool lit up. Through half-lidded eyes she watched him tap away at it. Her life-support system suddenly chirped at her. She took a deep shuddering breath, feeling lightheaded at the increase in oxygen and closed her eyes completely. 

“Thanks.” 

“You haven’t been monitoring your system as closely as you should be. Your oxygen levels were getting low. Get some sleep and I’ll take a closer look at it when we’re back at the Port.” He thrummed. 

The sun breached the eastern peaks, plunging the mountains into complete darkness, startling Rikka into wakefulness. She sat up sharply, staring out the Nomad’s window. Silhouetted against the rising sun was the bulk of ship, flying low over the summit. 

“Scheisse!”

“What?” Trian was leaning over her shoulder in a heartbeat. Upon sight of the ship he snarled; if he hadn’t been wearing his armor, his talons would have scored Rikka’s armored shoulder. As it was, metal screeched against metal.

“Well, fuck,” Lea said, face pressed against the backseat window. 

“By the Goddess,” Iris murmured. 

Rikka shoved Trian, forcing him to let go of her shoulder and to sit back down. She glared up at the ship and began typing into her omni-tool. “Damn! They’re too far away for me to get a reliable read!” 

She unlocked the Nomad door and shoved it open. “Iris, cover me.”

“Rikka! What are you doing?” Trian tried to grab her, but she dropped to the ground and crouched low. 

“I’m going closer.” Rikka explained. She crept from below the rock overhand and pressed against the boulders, gaze raking across the shadowed ground. “I have to get a read on that ship and we can’t move the Nomad with it right there. In fact, we’re going to be pinned down here all day.”

“You can’t just go running down there!” Iris cried. 

“I’m not.”

Rikka’s armor was a dull grey-brown that seemed to melt in with the rocks. In the darkness, it was nearly impossible to see her as she clambered down the steep incline. She darted from cover to cover. She slithered down the loose rocks, scarcely able to see her own feet in the darkness. She slipped, twisted, and slammed her back against a boulder. 

Dropping into a crouch, she un-holstered her shotgun. Across the valley floor and climbing up the mountainside she could see the red-light road markers. She felt the vibration of engines before she heard them or saw the vehicles. The ship flew across the mountain, vanishing to the north-west behind the mountain. In its wake followed several smaller ships, transports. 

She pressed farther between two of the rocks, dropping her gaze from the sky to her omni-tool, praying that the orange light would be too faint to see from above and would bring no attention from the road. 

“Rikka, where are you?” Iris’ irate voice came over her comms. 

“Almost straight down from the Nomad, about five meters from the road,” Rikka answered. She looked back up the mountain to where she knew the Nomad was. She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding when she saw only rocks and the shadowed cave entrance. 

“You idiot! You’re going to get yourself killed that close to the road! With all this activity, you won't be able to get back to the Nomad!” Iris scathed. “Do have any idea how reckless you’re being? And not just by putting yourself in danger!” 

Rikka didn’t answer. Instead she flicked through her omni-tool. Angaran versions of Nomads began trundling along the road as the run rose higher and heated the barren rock. It was easy enough to siphon off the codes of the Angaran uni-devices, their equivalent of the omni-tool. It was a matter of being within range to detect the uni-devices, like a gentle brush against it, and then to swiftly bypass any encryption. Really, it was pathetic how little protection they had, especially compared to the Kadara Port Exiles. Even the Exiles had proved to be a challenge in the beginning and they had few to no resources on hand. After taking the access code from the uni-device in question, it was a simple matter of locking it into Rikka’s omni-tool’s tracking capabilities. Any since uni-device was was simple enough to do. 

The real challenge came from the transport vessels flying over the valley. They had significantly more complex encoding and they were moving more quickly. For them, Rikka had to start working as soon as they were within range and sink into the bowels of the computer system while it flew overhead before it was out of range; all the while, she had to do so without alerting the Roekaar to the tampering. 

“You know, Rikka, you’re kind of scary,” Lea said over the comms as Rikka worked. 

“I get that a lot,” Rikka mused distractedly. “I think I’ve got everything.”

“Great,” Iris said darkly. “Now we’re just stuck here until after dark. Good job, Rikka. If we try and withdraw we’ll attract attention and get killed for sure.” 

“Rikka, do you think you can get safely back to the Nomad?” Trian asked, seemingly ignoring Iris’ comment. 

“I… don’t know,” she answered after a pause, surveying the vehicles climbing the mountainside. 

It got hotter and hotter as they day progressed. Rikka slid down the rock to sit curled over with her head resting against one of her hands.

“Damn this armor. ‘T’s no better than being stuffed in an oven,” she muttered. She was panting and sweating from the heat. Her breath hitched and a dull headache began to throb in her temples and behind her eyes. 

High noon came and went with Rikka hissing under her breath. She desperately wanted to wipe away the sweat stinging her eyes. She growled to herself, “We don't have time for this!”

The sun beat down on the valley. The very air shimmered from the heat. Rikka’s life support system chirped warningly at her. “Shut up, you. You’re not helping,” she muttered to it. 

The afternoon seemed to crawl by while she sat uncomfortably hidden behind the rocks, legs cramping and muscles aching. Occasionally one of the others would make a remark over the comms, but Rikka was largely left with silence, her work, and the heat.

“I can't take this anymore. I can't focus enough to work,” she complained to herself. She closed her omni-tool and leaned her forehead against her folded arms, resting on her knees. She let out a slow breath, trying to calm her irritation. Her heart began raced as yet another Angaran vehicle drove past her hiding place, one in a near constant stream. At least she wasn’t sweating so much anymore. 

Was time standing still? Rikka couldn't be bothered to turn her head to look at the position of the sun. 

“Rikka,” Trian’s voice was distant over the comm. 

“What?” Rikka snapped. Why was he bothering to talk to her, she felt exhausted and couldn't focus on his words.

The sun sank lower and lower, but the heat only seemed to intensify. 

“It's fine if I close my eyes for a few minutes,” she muttered to herself. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing despite her racing heart. At least she wasn't drenched in sweat anymore. The vibrations of the vehicles and transport vessels seemed to be muffled in the heat. 

“Rikka!” Iris’ voice was high pitched over the comms and grated on Rikka's nerves. She snarled under her breath, kept her head tucked against her arms and refused to answer her. 

Everything was aching, but it felt like Rikka could barely move. The others were making some fuss over the comms about something she couldn’t be bothered to listen to. Time seemed to be locked in limbo, standing still.

Exhausted and in excruciating pain, Rikka crumpled against the rocks without a sound, blackness swallowing everything. And she couldn't care less.

“Rikka! Rikka!” A hand shook her shoulder roughly. “Shit, Rikka! Open your eyes!” 

“Just get her into the Nomad!” a higher pitched voice rose in panic. 

Rikka wanted to frown, but it was too much hassle to move the muscles of her face. The world was suddenly spinning as someone presumably scooped her up off the ground. 

“Her life support, have you checked her life support?” Someone else cried, a distinctive female voice that wasn’t as high as the other. 

“Just get her in and we’ll boost it with the Nomad’s life support!” The higher voice said again. “Oh, Goddess, she’s on fire!”

A hand pressed against her face, blessedly cool in the heat. There was more jostelling that made her stomach pitch as twist until she was settled. A hand was running through her hair, wiping the sweaty tendrils back from her face. 

“Trian, just drive. Now.” The higher voice commanded. A blue face swam into Rikka’s vision and vanished again. “Lea, get her life support synced with the Nomad.” 

“Where are we going?” a ragged voice echoed, dual tones rising and falling as Rikka tried to focus on it. 

“Back to the Stash, the Port’s not going to be safe enough.”

Something familiar chirped and clicked. It was suddenly as though Rikka had been plunged into ice and her chest seemed to relax. Ah. The life support system. It always chirped annoyingly at her. She closed her eyes again and let the fussing washover her and recede again. Really, they overreacted to everything. 

“Hey,” a voice said over Rikka’s head. She squinted against the darkness and blinked. 

“Trian?” Rikka rasped, her throat aching. “Where--?” 

“We’re in the Stash. You scared the shit out of us,” he handed her a canteen and helped her sit up. “It’s water, drink it slowly.” 

Rikka took it gratefully. She leaned heavily against Trian’s supporting arm. “Where are the others? Are they okay?”

“They’re fine,” his maindibles flared at her in seeming amusement. “Lea’s sifting through everything you were able to extract,” he nodded to the orange glow of the terminal across the cave. “And here’s Iris.” 

Iris dropped down to crouch beside Rikka. Rikka frowned she was dressed simply in her black under armour. She typed into her omni-tool as it scanned Rikka.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, moving her finger in front of Rikka’s face for her to track. 

“Fine, just... disoriented.” Rikka answered hesitantly. 

“Don’t give us that crap! We almost lost you to heat stroke! Why didn’t you think before you jumped out of the Nomad? You haven’t eaten or had anything to eat since who knows when yesterday. You were incredibly reckless.” Iris snapped. “You’re lucky we were able to get to you before you effectively roasted in your armor.”

“I’m sorry,” Rikka said quietly, staring at the canteen in her hands. “I didn’t mean to put everyone in so much danger.”

“Just don’t do it again,” Iris shook her head. Her expression softened slightly and she spoke more quietly. “You scared us half to death. We didn’t think we’d get you back here in one piece. Please be more careful, Rikka.”

“I’ll try,” Rikka stared at the Asari for a long moment. It was so strange to see her pretty face shadowed with such emotions as fear, grief, and anger. 

“Good,” Iris said, pulling herself back under control and composure crossing her face like a mask. “Now, you’re long overdue for a shot. Hopefully it’ll help stabilize things to keep something like this from happening.”

Rikka didn’t protest, simply held tightly onto Trian’s hand as her arm was swabbed and the needle sank into her bicep. She felt the plunger clunk as the syringe emptied into her arm. Iris quickly cleaned up her arm with practiced movements and retreated to put away the medical supplies. 

“Drink more water,” Trian instructed, handing her another canteen. 

Rikka took it without protest and surveyed the Stash. Four cots had been set up along one of the walls, she was occupying one of them. The rations had been broken out and weapons and armor were haphazardly discarded in a corner. 

“Welp,” Lea said, popping the ‘p’ as she came over and threw herself down on the cot beside Rikka’s. She grinned at her. “Good to see you’re still alive and kicking! I went through the stuff you got and we’ve got a more complete picture of where the Roekaar are coming and going from and their plans of attack.” 

Iris returned to sit on the cot on Rikka’s other side while Trian remained crouched beside her. 

“So, what’s happening?” Rikka asked, leaning forward and getting down to business. 

“Akksul’s given the order to attack the Port like you thought,” Lea shrugged. “Seems they’ve managed to drill into the Port through some natural underground caves and they’re going to launch a frontal assault as and an underground attack.”

“Of course,” Rikka glowered at the floor. “What are we going to do?”

“We’re going to reach out to Pathfinder Ryder like you originally said.” Trian supplied. “But we need a plan. No rushing in headfirst.”

“Course,” Rikka flushed slightly. 

“Only question, is how we’re going to contact them,” Iris said. 

“That shouldn’t be a problem.” Rikka said looking between her comrades. 

“How’s that? We don’t have a way to directly contact her.” Iris pointed out.

“Actually, I’ve got her omni-tool’s contact code. As well as the Tempest’s,” Rikka smirked.

“What did you do this time?” Iris asked, aghast. 

“I simply lifted from her while she was in Kadara Port and got it from the Tempest while they were docked. It was difficult, but not relentlessly so like I’d expected.” Rikka frowned slightly. “You’d think Brodie and Jath would have more protections on the ship, especially Nyx.” She shrugged and looked around at the stunned faces of the others. “I had a feeling that we’d need to contact her sooner or later. And it was far less suspicious than approaching her.” 

“I really shouldn’t be surprised,” Trian muttered, rubbing the plates above his eyes. “Honestly, Rikka.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Lea asked, kicking her feet. 

“I have an idea,” Rikka said slowly. “We need to contact the Pathfinder, give her a nav-point to meet us at, and then meet her without it looking like an ambush.”

“But where? We surely can’t meet her in the Port or bring her here,” Iris shook her head.

“No, we give her a nav-point near the Drop Point.” Rikka thought quickly. “We’ll need two Bambis. Trian if you met her with Lea coving you and brought her to the Drop Point to meet Iris, with me covering her.”

“Why Iris and me?” Trian asked.

“It’s more believable for a duty bound Turian to contact the Pathfinder and Asari always have more authority than anyone else,” Rikka answered, staring intensely at her hands as she thought. “I could get more information from watching her than from interacting. And with this, I’m not well enough--”

“And I’m not mature enough to pass as an authoritative figure,” Lea laughed. 

“That might just work,” Iris said thoughtfully. “We’ll need to poke as many holes in the plan as we can before we solidify it, but it’s a start. Now, Rikka, you need more water and sleep before you’re ready to do anything,” she said, handing her some rations. “Leave the planning to us and rest.” 

Rikka simply nodded and quietly ate and drank while the others gathered around the computer terminal to plan, feeling oddly removed from the group. So, she’d almost died. Again. 

“I have to do better. I made a promise to you, Schatzi, that I’d make the most of Andromeda. I’ll do better, I promise,” she whispered, fists curling. “I won’t fail you again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review, it's a huge help to me as a writer!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rikka and her comrades finally encounter the Pathfinder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took me so long and that it's so short. I've been going through a personal crisis and I don't have a whole lot of creative energy at the moment. 
> 
> Again, a huge thank you to Usuallyblue for helping me edit and for writing the log!

“So, that's where things stand, Pathfinder,” Rikka said. She tucked her helmet under her arm. She let out a rough breath, trying to relieve the tightness in her chest the meeting had sparked. 

“And you're sure it's Akksul who gave the orders?” Pathfinder Jade Ming-Na Ryder--simply called “Jade” by her teammates--asked, crossed her arms, and arched her brow. A large scar--lacerations, Rikka recognized it as--covered her right cheek, her rough black hair fell in her golden eyes, and a red honeycomb-like tattoo wrapped around her throat. Ryder wasn’t what she had been expecting the first time she’d glimpsed the Pathfinder, and Rikka had yet to pass judgement on her. 

“We have all the evidence to back our claims,” Rikka replied tartly. The meeting with the Pathfinder had gone any way but as planned. Arriving armed to the teeth, but making no move until she'd heard them out, the Pathfinder had caught them off guard and they had yet to regain the upper hand. 

Trian and Iris stood at Rikka’s back, practically radiating tension. Lea leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. She’d said nothing so far, no quips, no taunts, nothing. 

“Here,” Rikka held out the the Angaran audio log to Ryder. She saw Vetra Nyx’s weight shift ever so slightly, fingers likely aching to reach for her gun. Her Angaran companion, Jaal Ama Darav, tensed noticeably. “This is the audio log we found. We’ve also been tracking the Roekaar forces over the past three days. I can give that information to you too.”

“Are you always so trusting with this kind of information?” Nyx asked, sub-vocals rippling was skepticism. 

“No one ever said I trusted any of you,” Rikka tried to keep from snapping, transferring a portion of the information they’d gathered to the Pathfinder’s omni-tool. “The Pathfinder’s proven herself repeatedly, and God knows no one else will try and protect the Exiles.” 

“Why should we help them?” Ama Darav asked, thrusting his way in front of the Pathfinder and glaring down at Rikka. His thick voice was dark and, though his sub-vocals were less obvious than Trian or Nyx’s, it was no less threatening. 

Everything happened at once: Rikka flinched away. Trian was suddenly in front of her. Lea’s biotics flared. And Nyx’s gun flicked between Trian and Lea, trying to settle on a target. 

“Everyone, relax,” Ryder said. She help up her hands as she stepped between Ama Darav and Trian. The two were almost quivering as they faced each other, Trian’s mandibles were flared and his teeth were bared, Ama Darav scowled. “I’ll look this over and we’ll see if what you’re saying is true.”

Rikka and her team retreated to one wall of the Drop Point cave while Ryder and her people did the same to the opposite wall. 

“That’s not all the information we have. One of our contacts has been able to confirm it beyond what we’ve observed,” Rikka said after a while, chest rising and falling harshly as she pressed her back against the wall. 

“Tell me,” Ryder said after they’d listened to the audio log and she’d gone through her omni-tool’s information. “How did you end up in Nexus Security, much less on Kadara?” 

“How do you--?” Rikka snarled then let out a soft laugh of outrage, “Of course, your SAM.” She smirked slightly, crossed her arms, and leaned forward, shaking her head at her own lack of realization. She muttered to herself, “Scheisse, I’m such an idiot. This wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Louder, she continued, “If your AI is going to feed you information, I’d rather it tell all of us, at least then your teammates won’t be left in the dark. Alright, so you know we’re Nexus Security. What else have you got on us?”

Ryder gave her an appraising look that reminded Rikka disconcertingly of Delta, but somehow held an almost bored edge to it. Rikka gritted her teeth at that expression, faux humor vanishing.  
“You’re all Nexus Security, more specifically Special Ops. According to SAM, though, you were a scientist before. SAM may be able to tell me about things I can get from a quick scan, but I don’t go lifting information without permission. So, what happened?” Her expression finally betrayed blatant curiosity.

“The Mutiny happened,” Rikka answered without hesitation. Then added, “And, for your information, everything I take is within my rights as Spex.” 

Ryder raised an eyebrow, but didn’t acknowledge what she’d said beyond that. 

“How we each ended up in Spex isn’t important,” Rikka said, waving her hand dismissively. “What matters is that Nexus Security was in shambles after the Mutiny and each of us were chosen for specific skills that we have. Now,” she said sharply, “Cat’s out of the bag. And the Roekaar are a growing threat. There’s nothing my team can do about it. So, the question is, what can you do and will you do it?” 

“I’m asking if you’re sure the orders came from Akksul. We faced him on Havarl and now he’s in custody on Aya.” Ryder explained, lounging against the wall.

Rikka blinked, brought up short. She and Trian exchanged a look.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if his subordinates are trying to fulfill his orders and keep his cause fueled.” Iris finally spoke up as she glanced over at Lea, “We saw that back in the Milky Way, if something happened to a Matriarch--” 

“Perhaps,” Ama Darav said gruffly, still watching them. 

“It takes time for extra-solar news to reach us,” Rikka allowed reluctantly. “However, we heard from one of our contacts that you’d shot Akksul. We didn’t know that he’s in custody on Aya though.”

“You should have killed the bastard,” Trian growled, sub-vocals deepening and almost drowning out his words. 

“Killing him would only have fueled their cause,” Ama Darav shifted his weight as though he wanted to launch himself at Trian. His bio-electricity snapped in little sparks. 

Rikka’s muscles knotted with tension and her breath rattled in her chest as she inhaled deeply, trying to stay calm.

“Trian,” Iris tried to sooth. “It would have made this situation even worse.”

“Then why didn’t Yarel let us know?” Trian turned his head to fix Iris with his amber gaze. His twisted mandible was thrown into shadow and looked far worse than normal. 

Iris held her ground and lifted her chin. The silent challenge passed between them until Trian looked away. 

Lea was as still as a statue, not looking at any of them. Her gaze was glued on the cave floor as though it were intensely interesting. Iris’ was slightly oriented toward her fellow Asari, her arm brushing against Lea’s with every move. 

The air was practically snapping with tension despite the Pathfinder’s relaxed posture. Nyx was almost as still as Lea, but her hawk-like gaze followed the minute movements of Rikka and her comrades. 

The silence drew on until Iris asked, “Now what?”

“Leave the Roekaar to us,” Ryder said with a slight smile. “We may be able to get aid from the Resistance since we helped them on Voeld. As for you--”

“We won’t be able to stay here much longer,” Trian shifted his weight off his bad leg. “We’ve been dangerously close to exposing ourselves for weeks from confrontations with Sloane’s lackeys.”

“We can’t just withdraw without Kandros’ director order,” Rikka reminded them darkly. 

Ryder stood up and smiled at Rikka, offering her hand. “Meet me at the Tempest at midnight, and I’ll have it sorted.”

Rikka blinked in surprise, but pushed off the wall and clasped Ryder’s hand. If she was hesitant, Ryder didn’t seem to notice. 

“I’ll see you at the Tempest at midnight,” Ryder repeated, let go of Rikka’s hand, and turned away. 

Rikka swiftly disabled the forcefield confining them in the Drop Point cave and watched the Pathfinder and her team withdraw. She let out the heavy cough she’d been holding back as soon as the forcefield came alive again. 

“Well, that went well,” Lea muttered.

Rikka turned to see her staring intensely at the forcefield. 

“Are we going to do as the Pathfinder says?” Iris asked, pacing over to stand beside Rikka. 

“Yes,” Rikka huffed. “We don’t have much of a choice. If we don’t, we could become targets and we can’t risk that. I was a damn fool and forgot about her SAM unit. We’re going to have to play nice and follow her plans.”

“Then we should get moving.” Trian brushed past them to stand near the forcefield, impatient to be off. 

“Then let’s go.”

The sun was sinking behind the mountain. The Nomad and their weapons were safely in the Stash and Rikka, Lea, Iris, and Trian crouched behind the boulders near the Port’s fortified gate.

“You don’t trust the Pathfinder, do you?” Trian asked over the comms, his voice slightly distorted. 

“I… don’t know. So long as we get off this rock, I don’t suppose it matters very much .” Rikka murmured, frowning at the gate. “And she’s kept her word for everything else.” She shook her head and addressed the others, “When we get up there, get your stuff and we'll meet the Pathfinder.” Rikka turned her attention to giving immediate orders. “Iris, Lea, stick together. Trian, make sure you alert Yarel about what's happened and where to meet us.” 

“Copy,” Iris answered immediately.

“Right,” Trian nodded.

“Hmm,” Lea drawled. “Yeah, sure.”

The moment the sun vanished behind the mountain and the valley plunged into darkness, Rikka leaped to her feet and the group was on the move. They scaled their way back into the slums and once there promptly split up without another word.

Warily, Rikka wove her way from the slums up to the lift. The metal chains groaned and creaked as the lift rattled up to the Port. The lights fueled by the generators were painfully bright in places and deepened the shadows. Walking quickly, she passed the bar and tried not to gag at reeking stench of booze, vomit, and urine. 

Her apartment was up several flights of stairs, it was a corner unit at the very end of a rickety boardwalk. The wind blowing up from the valley stank of sulfur and the bar several stories below her. Small bless that the sounds below from the bar masked her footsteps and her gasps as she fought for clean air. 

Finally, Rikka arrived at the door, plain metal and too narrow for anything larger than a Turian to fit through. “No Krogan visitors,” she chuckled to herself as she shoved the door open, having to kick the frame several times after it had unlocked. The hinges screeched as the door swung open. 

“Home sweet home,” she muttered sarcastically, kicking the door shut behind herself.

She strode into the center of the near-barren expanse of her “pad.” After five long days away in the field, it almost felt like heaven. Admittedly, it was rarely used from how much time she’d been spending in the Slums--tucked in a tiny apartment shared by the five of them--and in the Field. She surveyed the sparse furnishings and sighed. There was a cubby sized kitchen in the corner, a pallet rather than a bed in the other corner, a metal box at the foot of the pallet that held her personal items, and a rickety metal table with two chairs. As she was always did when she returned, she trailed her fingers across the metal of the table before tapping the pocket-sized terminal sitting in the center. Rather than throwing herself down on the pallet as she usually did as the audio log began, she knelt beside the metal box and began going through her stuff. From where she knelt on the floor, sorting the items into two piles of “throw” and “keep,” she idly turned them over in her hands, useless scraps of things they’d scavenged.

> [Log Dated 2183]
> 
> So if you’re listening to this, that means I’m already dead. All joking aside, you asking me to record audio logs for you to listen to in the future after I’m long dead is kind of morbid, not that I don’t understand the logic behind it. 

“Of course I asked you to record logs,” Rikka muttered to herself. “I left logs for you, too.” Listening to these and talking back helped with the crushing loneliness; “survivor's guilt,” Trian called it. Replaying the logs was always like tearing off a scab, over and over, so it couldn’t heal and risked infection, but was therapeutic.

She folded her spare under armor and set it in the “keep” pile.

> [Pause]
> 
> To tell you the truth, I don’t really know how to process this whole thing. At the moment I’m recording this we’d just gone out to lunch at the Indian place near my apartment and you dropped this whole thing on me.
> 
> I don’t know how you were expecting me to react to your news that you were choosing space over the people who care about you, but you can’t really expect me to be happy about it. I don’t understand. I really don’t.

Rikka remembered that day all too clearly. It had been sunny out, as good a day as any to break the news. She’d planned it so carefully. It was one of their favorite restaurants and conveniently located between their apartments.

Empty cans of food that she’d used to store what little clean water she’d had and other small things were thrown into the discard pile.

> You only told me about what you were doing after you committed to the Initiative and it was too late to back out. I think it's because you know I’d be able to talk you out of it, to make you see that this might not be as great idea as you think it is.

“And you almost did,” she closed her stinging eyes. She carefully set the items carefully in the separate piles, paying less attention to what she was doing now.

> [Pause followed by a long exhale]
> 
> You’re my best friend and I don’t know if you realize what that means to me. We met when we were junior high and now as adults I can’t imagine living a life without you in it. I know that you won’t really be dead, but to me this is like you’re either committing suicide or choosing to let everyone die while you isolate yourself in the future where we can never get to.

“I know what it meant to you. It meant the same thing to me.” Rikka set down what she was holding and bit back a sob. It didn’t matter how many times she listened to this log, tears burned her eyes. It barely mattered what she’d been holding. She wasn’t going to be taking most of this with her as it was.

> [Short pause] I’m really never going to see you again, am I? One day hundreds of years in the future you’ll be listening to this. I’ll be long gone, who knows if anyone on earth will know my name at that point. I doubt it.
> 
> Look, I’m doing this because you asked me to but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on trying to change your mind. I really hope that right now I’m just talking to myself and this never sees the light of day.
> 
> [End of log]

The click of the log ending let a ringing silence in the apartment.

“I miss you, Schatzi,” Rikka cried, pressing the heels of her hands into her eyes. “I miss you so much. I wish you were here. I still refuse to regret my decision, but…”

She didn’t how long she sat there crying. It was only when she heard the door unlock and the screech of the hinges that had her jerking up and scrubbing her face with the back of her hand. 

“Rikka?” Trian’s sub-vocals hummed when he called her from the doorway. “It’s time to go. Are you ready?”

“Yeah,” Rikka sniffed, rubbed her nose on her hand, and numbly stood up. “Yeah, I am.” 

She threw the last items into their respective piles. She’d leave the “throw” items for whoever next occupied this space, perhaps it would be useful to them. However, she gathered the “keep” items into a satual and swept the pocket-sized terminal off the table into it. She turned to gaze one last time around her Kadara Port apartment. 

“I’m not going to miss this place, but…” she trailed off, shaking her head despondently.

“But it feels like something’s coming to an end?” Trian asked gently. He rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. If he noticed that her eyes were bloodshot or the dampness on her cheeks, he said nothing about it, for which she was grateful.

“Something like that.”

“You’re right that Kadara hasn’t been good for any of us,” he said after the silence stretched out between them. “Let’s leave this hell hole behind and go home. Lea and Iris have already joined the Pathfinder at the Tempest. Let’s go.”

“Yeah. Home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter! Please review because it helps me!

**Author's Note:**

> Please review! Reviews make my world a happier place and help me improve as a writer!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Logs for Andromeda](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16967619) by [usuallyblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/usuallyblue/pseuds/usuallyblue)




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